


Atlas

by dreamingbook



Category: Men's Football RPF
Genre: Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, a lot of love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-05
Updated: 2019-08-09
Packaged: 2019-10-23 01:17:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17673641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamingbook/pseuds/dreamingbook
Summary: Eric hangs up his boots, Dele makes too much tea and finding home isn't always as easy as it sounds.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Song for this story is Atlas  by coldplay:)

The grass isn’t as green as Eric remembers it from the last game. There’s a grey touch to it, the ends of the blades dry around the edges and Eric wonders if the pitch had always been this way but he just never noticed it.  His hands feel cold and clammy inside is pockets, the heat engulfing him, it’s not easy for him to breathe.

Eric isn’t entirely sure if it’s just because of the weather. It’s early may and England has become hot again, it doesn't rain as much as it used to. People say it’s the climate change, the world becoming one big oven. It’s days like these were Eric feels it more strongly. He’s already sweating even though there’s still plenty of time before anything starts. There’s someone walking next to him, footsteps heavy on the soft ground and Eric knows who it is without having to look.

“It’s weird, isn’t it?” Dele asks, getting in to Eric’s personal space like he always does, bodies close to each other without really touching. Eric can smell his aftershave and the fine breeze of his shampoo, apples and cinnamon. Eric is looking up from where he’s staring at the grass, boots trying to dig a hole into the pitch. He shrugs, not feeling up to really answer to Dele’s question. He knows what Dele’s getting at but Eric is not quite ready to deal with it.  _Yet._

So instead of opening his mouth he takes in the rest of the stadium in front of him. It’s the Lane, alive and well. The seats are still completely empty, the game only starting in a few hours.  The rest of his teammates are wandering around the pitch aimlessly and just like Dele and Eric they paired up in groups, taking in the quietness before the stadium filling up again for the last game of the season.

It’s _home_.

Thinking about it leaves a pang of hurt inside of Eric’s chest. It’s like someone punched the words into his heart, the muscle bruised with every thought of it. He hasn’t quite learned how to cope with the feeling. He had a lot of time to prepare for this moment, to prevent the rush of sadness entering his body but in the end it was inevitable for it to happen.

 

Today is the day and Eric isn’t sure if he’s ready for it.

 

Dele is still looking at Eric with brown eyes, concerned and with a softness around them. Eric is looking back - staring - but he doesn’t bring himself to say anything. There’s a lump in his throat he can’t swallow.

He _knows_ that Dele knows what’s going on inside his head, they have talked about it enough times and Eric is grateful for it. Although the thought of having someone knowing him so well was still a bit scary. Dele knew him better than he knew himself sometimes.

“Come on.” Dele says, placing both of his hands on Eric shoulders, squeezing them. “It’s time to go change, Captain.” His voice is gentle in Eric’s ear and he lets himself be pulled away in the direction of their locker rooms. Everything around him starts to get hazy, the world around him blurry. He feels like he’s in trance, his body following Dele’s leading hand without resistance.

Eric doesn’t regret his decision, it was one he had to make eventually. He doesn’t regret it but it he’d be lying if it didn’t make him feel queasy.

 

***

Changing and waiting for the signal to go onto the pitch is routine by now and Eric does it like he always does it.

 

Right sock, right boot, left sock, left boot.

 

He feels a few of his teammates watching him when they think he doesn’t notice it but he always knows. It’s a special day today and Eric let’s it slide, his mind occupied with other thoughts.

Eric looks around, observing the others change quietly. A lot has changed over the years he played for the club. Familiar faces being replaced with unfamiliar ones that soon became faces of friends.

Eric  misses the old days sometimes, when he first started out at the club. He misses the way the team felt like a family. It still does but since he’s become captain it feels like he’s a bit detached from all of it.

Pochettino told him not to worry about it and that it was normal and probably just him getting older. It was strange anyway.  He does love his team though and he’s proud of having the honor to lead them in victory and crisis.

 

When it’s time to go Eric feels the familiar rush of adrenaline seizing up in his body, blood rushing through his ears. He puts on the captain’s armband over his biceps and takes a deep breath before smiling and ushering the team out of the room.

  
“Okay?” Dele asks when the whole team is lined up and and ready to go out on the pitch. He's not in the starting eleven but he doesn’t look to fazed by it, knowing the reason for it. He looks like he wants to reach out for Eric and Eric appreciates the gesture, even though it’s not really possible to act on it.

It’s a different time now and age caught up with all of them. Dele is still the amazing player he always has been but it’s the end of the season and he isn’t 21 anymore.

Eric nods and smiles at him briefly, it’s genuine. The lump in his throat is slowly dissolving and replaced by the anticipation bubbling up in his stomach.  Dele smiles back, eyes crinkling and so full of support that Eric almost feels overwhelmed by it.

 

“One last time.” Eric says and Dele repeats. “One last time.”

 

*****

The applause he gets when he’s leaving the pitch is deafening. It’s balm for his soul and for a moment the only thing he feels is pride. He’s proud of their fans, proud of his team and proud of having been part of an amazing journey and he couldn’t imagine anything better than ending his career with one last game at home.

 

One last game to feel the energy rush through him.

 

It’s the 67th minute of the game against Swansea City and they’re in the lead 1:0. It’s not an easy game but it’s perfect and Eric forgets for a moment that when the final whistle blows it’s all over for him.

 

He leaves the pitch clapping and taking in the atmosphere, shoving it all into a little box and saving it for whenever he needs it again. The white and blue, he will always remember. He can hear the audience sing, “I love Eric Dier and Eric Dier loves me.” It’s nothing but the truth. Eric loves his fans and he couldn’t be more grateful for them.

 

Dele is waiting at the end of the pitch for him, his turn now to show the world how amazing he is. Eric smiles when Dele hugs him immediately. It's brief but tight and he feels the whispered _I love you_ against his neck. Eric hugs the rest of his teammates, waiting on the bench and claps their backs before sitting down with them and waiting for the game to finish.

It does end with them winning  two nill and with Dele scoring the winner. It makes something bright and warm burst in Eric’s chest and he cheers extra loudly from the bench. Dele blows  him a kiss and Eric catches it with his hand. He gets a wink in return.

After that it’s only celebrations, emotions strung high. Everyone is happy and content with the victory. Spurs are going to play champions league again, finishing the season in 3rd place just like they did the year before. It’s like the club feels comfortable there and people finally started to recognize the _new_ Tottenham.

 

It’s when Dele drives him and Eric home that the weight of what actually just happened crashes down on him. The sadness is back laced with panic and his heart is skyrocketing again. He’s got so many question unanswered. They don’t talk the whole car ride although Eric notices the concerned looks Dele is giving him. He ignores them.

When they are home, back in the familiar four walls,Eric all but collapses on the couch and throws his arm over his face. Dele doesn’t join him but Eric hears him rummaging in the kitchen, probably making some tea for the both of them. Eric hopes it’s something to sooth his aching stomach.

 

A few moments pass until Eric can feel the couch dip next to him under the weight of his boyfriend.

“Are you feeling okay?” Dele asks and hands him the tea and Eric takes it gratefully. The scent of chamomille is heavy in the air and Eric hopes it will make him feel better. He also feels a headache coming on and there’s a familiar pressure behind his eyelids.

“I’m fine.” He croaks out but really he feels anything else but fine. The pressure behind his eyes is getting stronger and before he can prevent it, the first tear slips through his eyelid.

Eric tries to wipe it away furiously but as soon as he does it another one keeps rolling down his cheek. Before he knows it his body is shaking and he can’t hold back crying anymore.

“Oh, Baby.” Dele says and pulls Eric against his chest, holding him through the sobs. He strokes through Eric’s short blond hair, soothingly and Eric presses himself even more tightly against Dele. His hands clutch at Dele’s forearm not wanting him to let go.

 

Every emotion of the day he’d been holding back, wracks through his body coldly, all at ones and Eric lets out another sob when he thinks about his future and the fact that playing football won’t be part of it anymore. It’s a scary thought and for a moment he regrets his decision of ending his active football career. He promised himself to never do that and yet here he was.

“Better?” Dele asks when Eric’s sobs die down and he’s almost breathing normally again. His heart is still beating rapidly but there are no more tears left. His eyes burn and his whole face feels puffy.

Eric nods against his chest and slowly pulls back from the embrace.

 

“I’m sorry I ruined your shirt.” He says and gestures vaguely to Dele’s chest where his face was pressed against. The blue fabric is stained with wet patches and probably some of Eric’s snot.

Dele just looks at him with an odd expression. 

“Ehh it’s not the first shirt of me that you ruined so I guess I’ll live.” There’s a hint of a smile in his words but not really. Eric sighs because he knows it’s true. He’s known Dele for more than a decade and being in a relationship with him for the better part of 10 years, shirts tend to get ruined.

“You know it’s okay if you need time to process all of this.” Dele says gently, fingers finding Eric’s cheek, wiping the rest of the tears away. Eric leans into the touch and snuffles. He feels like a small child again, vulnerable and weak but he’s learned over the years that it’s okay to sometimes feel that way. He hates it.

“It’s all a bit much.” He confesses and Dele reaches out for him again. This time it’s not Eric’s face that’s pressed against Dele’s chest but his back. It takes some time until they are comfortably nested together on the couch. Eric lies against Dele’s chest, in between his legs and his own legs stretched out on the couch. Dele’s hands are intertwined on his stomach and Eric holds on to them as if they were the only thing keeping him from drowing.

“It will take some time getting used to.” Dele says into his hair, nuzzling it with his nose.

“I  just don’t know  _ how _ .” Eric says and for the first time it really dawns on him. There would be no games anymore, no training. 

He had nothing to do. He feels like crying again.

“You have time to figure that out.” Dele says and Eric chuckles because literally, he’s got  _ all _ the time in the world.

 

“We should do something.” Dele says and Eric looks up to him.

  
“Now?” He asks because he really doesn’t feel up for anything. He likes the warmth of Dele’s body behind him and the thought of doing anything else rather than sleep right now makes him feel uneasy.

“No, not now. But soon. Get your mind off things and let you enjoy your time. We’ve got five weeks to ourselves and… We should make the best out of it.”

“Do you have anything specific in mind?”

  
“Maybe a Road-trip. Checking out some cities. I thought maybe we could visit Harry. I know you miss him." The _I miss him too_ is silent. "Also I’ve always wanted to go back to Barcelona for a few nights.”

Eric has to admit that it actually sounds kind of nice and maybe it would be actually good for him. Getting  away from his thoughts maybe, breathing some different air.

 

He _does_ miss Harry. His move had hit them both hard but their friendship was still going strong. “Seeing Harry would be great.” Eric says, snuggling deeper into Dele’s chest and Dele kisses him lightly on the head, hands playing with the collar of his shirt.

The silence after this is comfortable and Eric feels his eyes drift shut. It’s been an exhausting few hours and all he wants to do is sleep.

 

“Hey Del?”

“Hmm?” Dele mumbles, his hand stopping their ministrations on Eric’s scalp for a moment.

“Thanks.”

“For what?”

“Taking care of me.” Eric says and he means it.

“Always.” Is what Dele says and Eric shifts and leans up to kiss him.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a long time rip and i apologize for this chapter because i'm really not that happy with it and yeah it might be a bit unrealistic but i thought why not just post it before i delete everything again. Good reading my loves and i hope you enjoy it anway :)  
> italics are a flashback

_ “I’m thirsty.” Harry announces and Eric takes out his earphones, sighing. He knows what Harry is implying with his statement. It’s Eric’s duty to make sure his friend is hydrated. _

_ He doesn’t even know how he ended up as Harry Kane’s babysitter, watching over the guy who injured his ankle. He can’t walk, but Eric can, so the implications of Harry’s statement are very clear. _

_ And since Eric is a good person and an even better friend he doesn’t let Harry know how he isn’t in the mood to play guard dog at all.  Harry sends him a grateful smile and all the annoyance vanishes out of Eric’s chest. It’s not Harry’s fault, he has to remind himself. _

_ “What can I get you?” Eric asks, pocketing his phone and stretching his limbs before yawning. He feels tired. _

 

_  “Water is fine.” Harry says and Eric rolls his eyes. There isn’t much alternative to water anyway. He nods and leaves the room without looking back. _

_ His quest to find some water for Harry turns out to be more difficult than he thought. He knows the building, knows it’s way around after almost 7 months of being here. He’s been around quite a while but he’s still fairly new.  _

_ He doesn’t feel quite at home yet but he knows he’s getting there. _

_ It’s a process, his mother always told him and he knew adapting to a different culture wasn’t going to be easy.  _ _ Being in London though is nice. The staff working for the club is alright and his teammates are proving themselves to be a constant in Eric’s life he can depend on and he’s already at the point of calling some of them friends.  _ _ Mauricio Pochettino is great and Eric feels protected. He really does like it here. _

_ Although the building doesn’t seem to like him that much. After turning left for the second time in a row, Eric doesn’t know where he is anymore. It’s blank walls and blue doors but no hint of a vending machine or a water suspender. At the moment he doesn’t even think the cafeteria is anywhere in close proximity. _

_ Great. Eric really got lost, trying to fetch some water for a dying Harry Kane. _

_ Eric hated Mondays. _

_ Eric hates Monday even more, when he collides with the elbow of someone, sending a sharp pain through his stomach, making him almost double over. _

 

_ “Pay attention to where you going.” Eric curses and the owner of the elbow starts to apologize profusely. _

 

_ “I’m so sorry.” The voice belongs to a guy and Eric squints trying to make out the person in front of him.  _

 

_ He looks young, maybe 17, brown skin and brown eyes, his dark hair curling on top of his head. He’s wearing a jumper and jeans, a cup of tea in his hands. Eric is suddenly glad it was only his elbow that hit him. _

_ Still he’s annoyed. _

_ It’s not a look Eric often sees, since everyone kind of just wears tracking bottoms and just things that are casual. He’s a match in Eric’s height, but no match for his weight. He’s lanky in the way that sometimes people are and Eric wonders how this man can move without entangling his own limbs. _

_ “Sorry.” The guy mumbles again and Eric is momentarily taken aback at how the voice of the young men sounds so shy.  _

_ Eric nods and tries to move past him, getting on with his journey of finding some water for Harry.  Their eyes meet for a moment and Eric can see the panic of the younger boy  and Eric wonders if he’s really that intimidating. _

_ The guy’s behaviour is kind of weird, Eric has to admit. _

 

_ As soon as the guy appeared, as fast he’s gone again and it leaves Eric with more questions than answers. _

_ Harry thanks him for the water bottle when Eric gets back and starts rambling about how his injured ankle is a setback in his career  _ again _ but Eric can’t really focus on the conversation.  _

_ His mind is occupied with thinking about the boy in the hallway, who bareky spoke a word to him. _

_ There was something about him, Eric can't put his finger on and he wonders if he’ll ever bump into him again. _

_ +++ _

_ Eric does bump into him again almost half a year later and this time it’s without the nasty bruises. _

_ As it turns out the boy is called Dele and he’s Eric’s new teammate.  _ _ Apparently he’s some kind of new Wunderkind. Eric isn’t so sure about that. _

 

_ One thing he is sure about though is that Dele is strange. Something about him annoyes the shit out of Eric but he isn’t sure what exactly irritates him so much. _

 

_ Maybe it's the fact that he doen’t talk to Eric. There's no attempt at communication and that is purely rude, Eric thinks. _

_ It’s not like Eric has made an effort on his behalf but it's bugging him. Eric huffs out an annoyed breath when he sees Dele running past him, only sending him a shy glance. _

 

_ “What’s his deal?” Eric asks after the fifth glance. He just doesn’t /get/ it. _

_ “Hmm?” Harry looks up from his phone, looking confused. _

_ "The new guy.” Eric says annoyed because it should have been clear. Harry rolls his eyes at Eric’s tone. _

_ "I don’t know. He seems nice.” He says and shrugs. Eric huffs out a bit of air, crossing his arms across his chest. _

_ /Nice./ /Great/ _

_ “He doesn’t talk to me.” Eric says and it comes out more than a whine than anything. Harry raises an eyebrow and examines Eric’s face closely. _

_ “What is /your/ deal?” Harry asks amused and now it’s Eric’s turn to shrug. If he’s honest he doesn’t even know it himself. It’s just something about Dele that is setting Eric’s skin on fire and it’s not in a good way. _

_ “Speaking of the devil..” Harry says when Dele comes over to them, slightly out of breath from all the running he had done. His hair is mussed and his eyes crinkly, a big smile plastered on his face. _

_ "Hi.” He says and Eric can’t help but think he’s in a very weird situation. He doesn’t smile back and all but narrows his eyes suspiciously.  _

_ "Hi.” Harry says back and he’s all friendly and Eric doesn’t know why his friend is betraying him like that. _

_ "I’m Dele. I haven’t really introduced myself properly.” Dele says and stretches out his hand for them to shake. _

_ Eric stares but takes his hand after a nudge from Harry. “Eric” he grumbles and Dele’s eyes light up. _

_ Dele’s smile is blinding and Eric doesn’t like it. _

_ He doesn’t really register the rest of the conversation, too busy to take in all of Dele. He hasn’t much changed from the last time he saw him, still lanky and tall and the same aura that had Eric wondering. _

_ He doesn’t know what’s going on with him. How could a single person, he didn’t even know yet be so bloody fascinating. _

_ When Dele is gone again, Harry watches him with an amused smile on his lips. _

_ "He doesn’t talk to you huh?”   _

 

_ Eric is in dire need of a new friend he decides. _

 

_ “Shut up.” _

 

_ ++++ _

 

When Eric wakes up the next morning he feels like someone had run him over with a truck the day before and he’s not sure if he had preferred this scenario to what had actually happened. Dele is lying next to him, on his stomach, blanket riding low on his hips, barely covering his buttocks. 

It’s 7 am , way to early to be awake but there’s no way he’ll be able to fall back asleep, so he’s pushing himself up, ready to go down stairs and make coffee for the both of them. 

He knows it could still be hours before Dele actually wakes up and is awake enough to face the world but Eric enjoys the solitude too. He loves Dele deeply, loves every moment they spent together but sometimes being on his own is such as rewarding.

Birds are tweeting and the wind rustles the trees outside. He stares and shuts off his mind, sinking into the smell of his fresh brewed coffee and thinks about nothing.

What he doesn’t expect his Dele coming downstairs an hour later, fully dressed with two suitcases -one in each hand- and a big smile on his face.

“Morning sunshine.” Eric says hesitantly when he spots him, eyes narrowing suspiciously.

“ Morning.” Dele says, eyes sparkling mischievously before picking up his morning kiss.

 

“Are you going away?” Eric asks because he can’t remember that Dele planned on traveling somewhere. His brain is still a bit mush.

Dele laughs and seriously sometimes Eric is baffled how Dele can be in such a good mood every day. He’s not Sonny but it’s very close.

 

“Yep, but you are coming with me.”

“I am?” Eric asks because he’s not sure what is happening right now.

“Do you remember our conversation from last night?”

“You mean my break down?”

“I mean the totally justified reaction you had to your retirement last night. Yes.” Dele pauses for a moment. “You wanted to get out of here for a while. And that’s what we’re doing.”

 

“Right now?” Eric asks because he's still in his pyjamas.

“Our flight leaves in three hours.”

“Our flight to where?”

“Spain.”

“Harry.” Eric says and there’s an ache in his chest because he loves Dele so damn much.

“Harry. “ Dele shrugs and the grin on his face widens. “ So what do you say Princess?”

“I’m saying if you call me princess one more time I’m going to hide your passport and go to spain alone.”

 

Time to get out of here.

 

++++

 

When they arrive in Barcelona it’s hot. Eric feels the warm air engulfing him like a blanket, clinging to his skin painfully. It must be at least 35 degrees celsius.

He isn’t used to the hot weather anymore like he was in his early years still living in Portugal. The cold crisp air of London too much a constant in his life.

He still visits the algarve often enough, spending holidays in the sun but the most part of his year is spent in the shadows that is Britain.

 He doesn’t mind it that much anymore ,the island since becoming his home. He’s got  his family there and that's enough for him. Dele was there.

 

The air smells like salt and the taste is strong on Eric’s tongue, the flavours of the ocean winding itself all around Eric’s body. The coast is near them, not far away, Eric can tell. 

He leans against the car and let’s the view rush over him for a moment. Clear skies and a dawning sun, painting everything in a mellow yellow light.

He breathes slowly in and out, let the warm evening wind brush over his bare arms. He sees Dele getting out of the car they rented at the airport and he unconsciously leans into  his boyfriend when he moves to stay next to him. The metal of the car is hot and digging into Eric’s spine but it’s bearable, the whole atmosphere to overwhelming. It’s clear they aren’t in London anymore and Eric feels his muscles uncramp and it’s easier to breathe. 

They are on a little hill just shortly out of the city of Barcelona and the valley is full of houses tinted in gold.

 It’s breathtaking and Eric totally understands why Harry chose this place to end his career. 

It’s nothing short of paradise.

 

“I’m excited.” Dele says and Eric can’t help the little smile ghosting on his lips. Even though he won’t admit it yet, he’s feeling the same way Dele does.

 

“It’s going to be like old times.” Dele continues, his mind clearly drifting back to when they were all together at the same club. “ You, me and Harry -- the golden trio.” 

Eric chuckles. “ No one ever called us that.” 

 

“I did.” Dele says and Eric snorts. “ You called us the Dreamteam and  our third wheel.” Which in retrospect wasn’t really that nice to Harry, Eric figures.

“He was the best third wheel we ever had.” Dele says solemnly.

“I’m sure he won’t disagree.”  There’s a bit of comfortable silence before Dele speaks up again.

“It’s not weird though is it? Us coming here, visiting him out of the blue. He might think something bad has happened.”

“Well it kind of did. Didn’t it?” 

“One day you’ll realise it’s not the end of the world.”

“One day i’ll be very very old.”

“I’ll be young forever.” Dele decides and of course he would.”

“Good thing too, because then you can take care of me .”

“I mean I probably would need some compensation for it.”

“Compensation huh ?.”

“Yeah like for example kisses.”

“You want me to kiss you?” Eric asks amused. Dele was such a dork.

“No, eww gross. “ Dele grimaces and Eric tries hard to not be offended. 

“I want Harry to kiss me obviously .”

“I thought Harry wa mostly straight.” Eric says , remembering their conversations years ago and there was also the fact that he was married with three daughters.

 

“ Yeah _mostly_. I’ve seen him check me out.” Dele says cheekily.

“Oh did he now?”

“Jealous?” Dele wiggles his eyebrows playfully.

“Of you maybe. You’re right, Harry is a catch.” Everyone knew that.

 

Dele shakes his head fondly and before Eric can say anything else Dele is clinging to him like an octopus, all limbs around Eric’s body, cheek pressed to his cheek and arms around his neck.

 

“I love you” Dele whispers, squeezing tightly and Eric tries only half heartedly to break free from the surprising embrace.

“It’s what they all say.” He says and Dele pulls away for a moment, placing a sweet kiss on his lips before going back to nuzzling his neck. 

 

“I really missed him.”  

 

“Yeah me too.”

 

++

 

Seeing Harry Kane again after almost 2 years of only phone and video calls feels like finding a five pound note in your pocket after thinking you’re broke for a good week.

 

Harry smells like he always does, mature and like a man and Eric hugs him tightly before Dele pushes him out of the way to get his own refill of the Harry battery.

 

They hug Kate afterwards and Eric tells Ivy and Vivi how big they’ve gotten and both smile shyly at him. Laura is still a baby but Eric is sure that she’ll be as pretty as her sisters when she grows up.

For a moment Eric feels content and happy. It’s like old times when Kate takes the kids and leaves them all alone to catch up properly.

Catching up properly turns out to be sitting in rocking chairs on Harry’s garden and sipping cocktails.

Eric is not complaining.

 

“It’s been a long time since I had a margarita.” Harry says  taking a sip from the beverage.

 

“It’s been a long time since we’ve seen each other.” Dele says and it’s not an accusation, just a fact.

 

“I’m happy you both had time in your busy schedules to  visit me.” It’s also not an accusation but a fact but it doesn’t make it less true. Eric feels a bit guilty.

“You know how it is H.”

 

“Yeah I know, I get it.” Harry says and leans back in his rocking chair. “It’s just really nice being together again.” 

 

Eric takes a sip of his own cocktail the bitterness and sweetness bursting on his tongue before catching a few rocks of salt.

 

He humms. It’s dark outside, the sun finally finding his sleep, the garden is fairly lit through multiple lamps, the Kane’s seemingly installed. There’s palm trees and a pool, the water shimmering in the moonlight.

 

“Hey H.” Dele suddenly says. “Tell us a secret.” 

  
  


“I can’t wait for it to be over.” Harry says honestly and Eric swallows down the lump in his throat. He doesn’t feel that content anymore, the air cold and making him shiver. 

 

“Why?” Dele asks curious and Eric knows exactly what he’s doing. He tries to glare at him but Dele doesn’t seem faced by it.

 

“Playing football is great.” Harry says. “ I love it and it’s a very big part of me. I love it so much that i sometimes can’t help but think that I love it  _ too _ much you know? I have a wife and my children now. They are all that I need. I want to be there for them.”

He pauses. “I don’t want football to get in the way of that and ripping it all apart.”

The thing is- Eric gets that. He totally understands where Harry is coming from but his words do nothing to the void he’s been feeling in his belly since deciding to retire from being a professional football player.

“I hate that It’s over. “ He says because if they’re spilling secrets he might as well be honest too. Dele is sighing at his admission, it’s more sad than anything but Eric doesn’t care.

 

There’s silence after that and it’s not awkward because it never is when they share stuff like that. Eric appreciates it.

 

“You’ll get used to it. “Dele says eventually although Eric really wishes Dele would stop saying things like that, not when he isn’t the one hanging up his boots forever.

 

“Hmm.” He says noncommittally and that’s that.

**Author's Note:**

> This story isn't finished on paper but in my mind it is! I hope i can update soon. Please let me know what you think and pray that i'll finish ( I do want to so the odds are good) 
> 
> Thank you all for reading!!


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